I am painting from the experience of a man who loves men. My romantic life is very important to me. A lot of gay paintings are seen as being horny and pornographic, and while there is an element of that in my work, I think my paintings are really about love - loving a moment in time, loving a person, loving a body, loving a relationship. The reason I want to paint someone I’m in love with is because I realize that this moment likely won't last forever, or maybe it will, I hope it does, but I know it won’t. Maybe I can capture this fleeting feeling that feels better than anything I’ve ever felt before. I know I've captured it before and it’s completely gone now.
When I am staring at another human for hours, I begin to notice so many details about them. The shape of their eyes, the redness in their eyelids hold light, their specific skin tone and the way it alternates between warm and cool. I feel an emotional connection to the person I am painting that becomes deeper over time. There is a vulnerability that unfolds when someone is naked posing in front of me I imagine it can feel uncomfortable and potentially threatening as my subjects understand that I am looking at them in a way that no one ever has. I can see every pore on their skin, but I’m not judging them. I am seeing a beautiful creature sitting in front of me. Feelings of sexual tension arise, but I also experience innocent feelings that resemble a crush. This makes my paintings feel sexy to me. When I stare at a person for this long, I’m reminded of how beautiful but simple life is and how nothing outside of this moment matters, it’s just us sitting in this room, with no other thoughts going through my brain. It’s really beautiful to me to think how in a few years, this person’s body could be completely different, or they might not even be alive anymore. To capture something from life in this very moment is a special thing to me, and nothing else makes me feel like this. There is a childlike excitement that I feel when working from life and when I am painting someone who I have a very intense feeling for, these feelings are held in the painting.